2.24.25

I like the thought of us being adventurous together. I'm sure there are places you've seen that I haven't - show me! I'm sure there are places you've not seen that I have - come with me! I'm sure there are places neither one of us have seen - let's go!

There is a joy in seeing wonder in someone's eyes that is seeing something awe inspiring for the first time. I want us to see that in each other's eyes as we travel lands near and far.

2.23.25

You're going to be my favorite store to tell. I hope that I'll be yours. A tale of "just happening". Something unexpected that neither of us saw coming or knew how it would weave itself together.

2.22.25

I've heard someone equate love with magic. I believe they're one in the same and when you come near this theory will get proved. I'm longing to feel your spell cast upon me, to feel your love that has the truest intentions.

2.21.25

I've done my share of breaking hearts. I've had my share of having my heart broken. What I've discovered in both - I was breaking my own heart. I had not come to a place of understanding as to what I really needed and wanted in the past. With the help of self-reflection, therapy, and doing the hard work of healing, I've discovered what I want and need - safety. I need a safe space where I can openly and honestly share my emotions, desires, dreams, etc.

I know you can and will create such a space for me. I will create a safe space for you as well. I want us to feel safe in each other's presence. It will be a sacred and protected place for us to grow as individuals and as partners.

2.20.25

I want to see your face in the falling snow. To watch winter’s gift unlock your child like wonder and soft memories. Letting dendrites pull at the corners of your lovely lips, giving me a gift. Your smile. 

2.19.25

"Someday lady you'll accomp'ny me" - Bob Seger

How fitting is that quote? It's the perfect begin my new set of songs to the ether. Because someday you will accomp'ny me.

I don't know who you are.

I don't know where you are.

I don' know what you look like.

But it’s you I'm waiting for. That I'm calling towards me.

These songs are yours. Consisting of my thoughts of you, hopes for you, desires for you. It will be a place I can put forth my hopes for us.

Let's begin our journey, my love.

Songs to the Ether (Intro)

Five years ago, I began writing in a small notebook. A notebook that, I’m sure, is in a landfill somewhere under piles of dirty diapers, banana peels, and plastic Walmart bags.

For a year, I wrote in this notebook.

Every.

Day.

And then I detached from it.

Let it go.

To do the work I had asked of it.

But Tolar, what was in the notebook?!

Glad you asked.

Songs.

Songs to the ether.

Whispered words of hope and longing.

Of love.

Of joy.

Of the battle through a loneliness that felt unending.

Words to a woman, a muse, a friend, a lover who I hoped would appear.

A plea.

A petition.

A kind of prayer.

Songs to the ether.

I believed that if I wrote to her, she would come. That she would be the gift from what ever cosmic power is out there. A gift that I’ve been asking for because I felt that I was ready.

Ready to love and to be loved again.

To love from a place of my own healing.

To love well.

To love in a fullness that we both deserved.

So, I wrote to her.

But only imposters came forward, making me feel that my songs to the ether had brought the love I so carefully crafted within the notebook.

Only to be let down.

Only to reveal the parts of me that still needed to be loved better by myself first.

Yet, I still hold to hope.

That she’s out there and will one day appear.

And stay.

A woman, a muse, a friend, a lover.

Ready to love and be loved.

By me.

And my Songs to the Ether.