That t-shirt with the guns on it that lets us all know that you’re a patriot does wonders for your gut

I see you moving it, man

You’re out here doing it, ya know

Trying to be a sex machine on the treadmill

What I want to know 

Which one of the twelve TVs is providing your motivation?

The cute puppies on Animal Plant?

Maybe that kitchen remodel that Chip and Joanna are tackling?

Perhaps the redheaded woman cooking it up on Food TV?

I know - the footage of men, women, and children blown to bits, strewn through the streets of Gaza

That’s more your style

Just make sure you hit that anabolic window after you’re done sweating to the oldies